Healing Emotional Aloneness

Feeling emotionally alone in your harder moments can really take a toll on your mental health. There are so many life situations where we don't quite feel comfortable letting others in. We are embarrassed or ashamed that we don't have our life all together. We hide when we've been rejected from yet another job interview. We don't let on that our illness flared up again and we can't think straight for our work. Or our spouse is loosing interest in us, and showing interest in another. Or we snuck some alcohol, weed or cake out of the garbage yet again. Or we feel silenced and invisible by a person in power. There are situations throughout our lives where we deal with being scared, overwhelmed, hurt, numb, confused all on our own.

For many of us this started in childhood and there were moments we felt hung out to dry, fending for our own little hearts and beings. When the situations were too hard we couldn't stay present with and metabolize our experiences, we developed coping strategies to deal. Many of these aren't fully serving us today.

Often we are not sharing with others because we'll feel judged or misunterstood. Previous lack of attunement makes us feel unsafe to share. Others can only offer us the love and understanding that they are able to offer to their own selves.

To heal, we can turn inward and give ourselves some of what we need from our own self-essence. Our deeper being. And some of this we cannot do alone. We are social creatures and can only truly feel, metabolize and integrate our deeper hurts and fears with an attuned friend or therapist. The following are some ways to work on healing your emotional aloneness.

 

Attachment Trauma Explanation (emotional neglect) by Kelly Werner  |  [Writing]

Explanation of Attachment Trauma (physical and emotional abuse) by Bright Quest  |   [Blog Post]

Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) Questions to Befriend a Part by Kelly   |  [Document][Audio Exercise]

Self-Therapy Workbook (IFS) by Bonnie Weiss  |  [Book]

IFS Audio Guidance by Dick Schwartz  |  [Audio Exercises]

Overview of IFS and Live Therapy by Dick Schwartz on Tim Ferris Podcast  |  [Podcast]

Overview of Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) by Sue Johnson  |  [Read Chapters 4 & 5 in this Book]

Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) by Sue Johnson  |  [Therapy Video]

EFIT: Soothing Sentences [Instructions] [Audio Exercise]

All Teachings by Tara Brach  |  [15 Years of Talks]